The Antidote

There is a lot of noise about forgiveness
it is said; "God forgives You"
but God made me what I am.
I am not the doer.


Then shall i forgive God?
If i am not the doer 
Then how shall i?


If God does not exist
then i am the doer;
Shall i forgive myself?


Long ago i learned
God is my very self;
so then, shall i forgive
the self of myself.


I am angry because god has done this.
or i have, is there any difference?
if i believe in God
then it is God's doing.


On the other hand
if i do not believe
then i am my own God;
One must forgive or suffer
there is no choice.


The same applies to hate;
i hate God - or myself
again, is there any difference?
I became love many years ago
i knew this Love.


God appeared out of that
and I became, hating god's intervention;
hating myself, hating my existence.
i rejected God.


I put a form in front of god
and worshipped that
hating its existence.


My experience of the world
became a reflection of my hate;
i would not forgive myself.


Hating, of course i denied God himself;
i would not love that self
which resides in that love.


In the dark, i existed
surrounded on all sides by rejection
a mantle of jealousy surrounding my heart.


That Love\light stymied
covered in darkness, i ran away.
ahead of me, unfolded my fear;
i lived in a world of secret remorse.


A dark thing hating the light
Love deserted me, or i deserted Love;
I could not forgive myself.


The slimy black snake of anger
slithered out of my mind
and threw me to the floor
scheming death.


Love screamed out for God
in the voice stolen from hate;
the snake wailed and twitched in death
as Love came home.


Forgiveness, what is that but Love
which is my very self, whom i forgive.
this act is Love, which is myself
given to me.